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A Celebration

ROBIN, Chapter 7
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The next morning, in the false dawn, while the majority of the thieves slept and their sentries continued to drink, Robin snuck into their camp.  First, she found her pet pony.  Then, dropping a glazed ham in front of Bucskin's tent, she opened up a jar of honey, and let it drizzle on the ground as she and the pony made their way back into the forest. 

Soon, a bear traced her path into the bandit's midst.  Just as the beast settled down to enjoy its breakfast, a flaming shaft flew past its ear and embedded itself in a tent.  This deserved little of the bear's attention, but when more such arrows were loosed and the fire began to spread, that was a concern.  The camp's sentries thought so too.

Of course, no one likes to be roused from drunken slumber into hungover-reality, still less to be so awoken by roars, cries, and the clanking of pots and pans, but that was the thieves' alarm system--whatever else might be said of it, few slept through the thing.  Thus the men dragged themselves, ringing heads and all, out of their beds to find the cruel sun in its ascent, a panicked bear in their midst, and their tents aflame.  Some fled, some vomited, others sought buckets and water, but Lance Bucskin stood with his hands on his hips and laughed.

LANCE-- Good show!  Who would have thought that chick had such plans when we stopped her last night?

ROBIN-- [appearing from behind a burning tent, holding two staves] Oh, a few people here and there.

LANCE-- [arms open] Welcome, welcome!  [gesturing about] I'd offer you our hospitality, but it seems you've decided to throw your own party.

ROBIN-- Every big event should have one, don't you think?

LANCE-- Oh?  And what is the occasion?

ROBIN-- Why, didn't anyone tell you?  [Tossing Lance a staff and readying herself] This is your going away party.

LANCE-- [testing the heft of his weapon] I suppose it would be bad form to stay after such a send-off.

ROBIN-- [skeptically maintaining her posture; drawing out her first word] You don't want to fight?

LANCE-- [dropping his staff] For what?  No, no, it's obviously time for me to go. What a delightful memory to leave Sherman Forest with! [as he walks away, the bear agitatedly wanders in between Lance and Robin; Lance turns back, a knife suddenly in his hands] Ah, but what if I don't want to go? [at this, the bear roars and bats Lance halfway across the camp, watches him for movement, and, seeing none, looks at Robin; thinking better of a conflict with her, the bear heads for the forest]

ROBIN-- I guess he's dead? [walking over and poking him with a staff, eliciting no response ] I kinda killed him.

LANCE-- [with only his lips moving] No. No, I'm still painfully alive, and I definitely want to leave. I'm going... just as soon as I can get up. [opening his eyes] You're mean, you know. [grimacing] I like it.

Somewhat surprisingly, he eventually did get up and leave. After some wandering, he made it to the big city where he parlayed his scars and street-cred into a number of strikingly similar acting roles. So it happened Lance Buckskin was never seen in Sherman Forest again except on television.

As for Robin, she remained unemployed for another day or two, until it occurred to her someone had to take Lance's role.  [we see Robin with five of the thieves at the side of a road, lying in wait for unwary passersby]

ROBIN-- The forest hates a vacuum. If I hadn't filled it, I'd've just had to run off whoever did. Right, men?

THIEVES-- Here, here!

And that is how Robin found her career as an outlaw.

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  1. So did you give up on this? Or just don't feel like typing it out anymore?

    I thought the last chapter was pretty good, maybe a bit slap-stickey...

    I've found when I'm writing I usually start losing interest in where things are going quickly and then stop shortly thereafter, but it seems like you still have room to work..

  2. Or I suppose I shouldn't make pronouncements about giving up so soon...since it's only been a week or so since last update...

    Hah...I guess everything seems to speed up on the Internet...

  3. I'm working on a new story now, but even when I finish it up, I'll probably want to get my hands on a real computer to type it up. I just finished a brief essay on meaning for atheists that I'll be holding off on entry as well.


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