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Proposed endings

...for comicbook villains. After all, who deserves it more?

-Doc Oc, in a retirement home, drives those around him nuts. Inevitably, he regains his tentacles, and breaks a hip. Convalescing, he continues to annoy those around him.

-The Joker, declaring, "It's just not worth it, anymore," goes straight (but remains unhinged) and realizes his dream of being in showbiz, as a radio DJ and late-night host. Batman doesn't believe it, and wastes an hour every night watching Joker's show, refusing to admit he likes it.

-Bullseye careens into a self destructive pattern that finally does him in. Everyone he's ever worked for or against tries in some way or another to talk him out of it, to no avail. Deadpool offers to make it quick and kill Bullseye himself, but is turned down. The man who can turn anything into a weapon is eventually slain by some no name punk in a foreign country, where no one knows him.

-Luthor, dying an inadvertent death, has his life flash before his eyes, and dies happy, even without having killed Superman. In a brief epilogue, various media and personal reaction follows. The last panel has Clark at Lex's funeral, looking sadder than one might expect.

-The Penguin throws a party, where he remains at once aloof from and tangentially tied to both crime and legitimate business and social concerns. He will never have to tangle with the likes of Batman again.

-Bane decides he's happier in prison than out, and gets himself put away for life with an intentionally bungled gas-station burglary. He ends up running life inside the prison while wearing glasses and reading the latest high literature.

-An elderly Riddler trains a kid to take his place, perhaps with the reveal that this kid is, in fact, the new Robin on his first assignment. If that route is taken, this remains unknown to Edward Nigma.


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The world around us is in no way required to conform to our expectations, beliefs, or desires. Rather, it is all but guaranteed to disappoint us, at least once or twice a lifetime. The loftier (or more deeply felt) our ideals, the more this may be true.

When we accept this incongruity and are keenly aware of it, but cannot change our thinking, absurdity steps in. The world no longer quite makes sense. It is untethered from rational or moral concerns, adrift in a bizarre joke told by no one.
Desire for normative order is often irrational and misplaced. Placing ethical constraints on amoral matters makes no sense. Yet these appear (sometimes, seemingly) inescapable conclusions. Hence the sensation of absurdity.

We can apply these incongruous demands to anything and anyone. But this is not a universal philosophy. It is a philosophy of the self, a diagnosis.

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The same men who say global warming is a hoax, Obamacare has been failing for eight years, and abstinence-only sex-ed works are also convinced even basic gun control is an impossible and useless approach which would only make us less safe. These are also the dudes most likely to tell you black and brown folk have it too good, Obama is a secret Muslim born in Kenya, and Sharia law is being forced on American legal systems. I wonder if there's some sort of overarching thread or theme to all this.